I have been having a semi-horrible, impending doom, guilty, shameful cloud hanging over my head since I woke up, this morning.
This feeling comes often, several times a week and it always comes with no warning. I am unable to pinpoint the exact cause, such as something that happened the last day or two, which created this terrible feeling.
This feeling is mostly why I drink.
Constantly feeling shame and guilt constantly makes me want to drink away shame and guilt.
The feeling is so strong right now that it is making me nauseous.
Three of my children had their first day of school yesterday.
I lost custody of four of my children two years ago.
Yep….ok….that is definitely the reason for the feeling because, as I write, the feeling is becoming increasingly stronger.
Maybe soon, I will be able to start writing about the loss of my children.
I’m not there, yet.