I have never been this…I don’t even know what to call it…just wanting to fucking cry all the time. I’m not a crier. I’m just not. When I was young I suppose I cried to manipulate, and I did that pretty frequently, but rare were the times I REALLY cried, cries from my soul that my body wretch and convulse and made tears that would wet my entire pillow.
My tears are made of acid. When they hit my face my skin has an allergic reaction and I look as if I’ve been attacked by bees for a couple of days.
I don’t want to look like that.
So, this crying thing that’s going on inside of me is also fueling rage. It’s fucking nuclear. Atoms are about split inside of me.
So yeah, yeah, yeah, EVERY FUCKING ONE I KNOW, I realize I have some fucking issues. NO, I DO NOT TRUST ANY OF YOU, NO, NOT ONE, AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL.
Now, does that make me a bad person?
I mean, if someone would approach me with my issues in more of a helpful way, I may be less inclined to feel such anger, but it gets to a point where I feel like everyone knows they can fuck me over and then blame it on me because “I MAKE IT UP IN MY HEAD”.
Well….I do think a lot of thoughts in my head, but yet have I been able to teleport my thoughts to your call log, fuckface.
Yes, I am crazy.
So, what does that make you?