I’m your female middle-aged freestyler

junk-piler

I got ass sometimes and I’m wilder than

anyone you’ve ever know or ever will

my love is so strong you should put it in a pill

and sell it on the street you could sell it to every single

person that you meet cause my essence is fire and it is

my desire to teach you to choose only the higher way of

being but it’s seeming like no ones hears the words  I’m screaming

Words I’m saying while the silly games keeping on playing

and no one tells the truth and if they do

there’s always proof that it was a lie, I don’t know why… I sigh and I look high to the sky

and wish I was with the stars not with any cars

not with the busy street heat underneath my feet

i’m hating it but dating it since I took my first breath

now I’m patiently waiting to be found by death.

I made a meal today

the first time in weeks

I had to do something

cause this place really stinks

now it smells good, like chicken stew

Not like ass, or piss or even cat poo

It smells like a home

at come quitting time

and I’m now feeling tranquil

my mood is sublime.

So I had a bag of trash in my truck

to take to the dumpster ain’t paid for pick-up

in the meantime I went psycho and put the truck in a ditch

I got it out quickly ‘fore it became a real sitch

My truck drove me home and then she got sick

Two of her tires became flat very quick

My hand is broken and so is her rear

my truck is my baby my big white sweet dear

she protected me safely, at no point was fear

the spins, or the culvert or the ditch or the tree

I should’ve flew out the front but she protected me

and now my baby back driving once more

I cleaned the mud off her back because I do adore

My burb…

but back to the bag of trash in the back

I opened it today and there was no lack

of flies and maggots and disgusting ass things

some that would crawl and some that used wings

and that black mold inside, has just got to go

The state of my truck is my condition of woe

Like the hypocrites Jesus condemned in the Bible

I washed the outside of her like a real good disciple

Her insides dirty with flies and disgust

filthy rotting decay and smells worse than must

I am no hypocrite, at least I do try my best

Please go ahead and put my name to the test

Tomorrow I will clean my burb on the inside

There will be no place for a maggot to hide

except in a church.

I divorced my husband cause I thought him a dick

I was very impetuous and did it real quick

I felt all alone and I didn’t know

that he was the one who made me grow

before I realized the mistake it was over

I could kill myself  and now I’m not sober

he beat me in court, but I knew that he would

he spanked my ass good with a paddle of wood

and took everything that made me secure

now I’m on the Titanic looking less than demure

right in half the boat is breaking

headed downward and my life it’s taking

What was I thinking? leaving my life

I wasn’t the best but I was a good wife

the best husband he wasn’t but he was damn good

and I never have regrets, but I’d go back if I could

and undo the choice that I did make that day

I’m so fucking disgusted that I did betray

the vows I made on that September day.

It’s 2 o’clock Tuesday and I’m pretty drunk

and I don’t really give any fuck

I gotta start packing up all of my stuff

Moving a lot tends to get pretty rough

I’m staring at all of the shit left in my trailer

The stuff is all yelling at me, calling me “FAILURE”

Shut up, stuff, I’m about to put you in a box

and bring you to storage with a big master lock

I may never see you things again

so quit being mean, i thought we were friends

I’ve drug you around from place to place

So quit mocking me, stuff, you ain’t got a face

that’s all you are is stuff….

I can replace.

But some of you, I can’t…..

and that makes me sad

cause some of you stuff are things that I’ve had

since the last time I lost everything I owned

like my babies first shoes and my puppies first bone

and clothes and pictures of my babies in frames

My, how life can suddenly change

with no fucking warning, no warning at all

It’s time to start packing, Athena, get on the ball.

There are some of you bloggers that make me feel good

cause you’re reading my shit and I know that I should

read yours too, and on some days I do

It’s not that I don’t want to but I’m in an aquarium of glue

so it’s hard to move and all I can do

is get to my page and let out my rage

and all of the things in me to help me assuage

the copious amounts of guilt that I’m feeling

and I realize most bloggers don’t find it appealing

to like another’s post unless there’s report

some reciprocity, and if there’s none they abhor

commenting or liking anything I write

even if they relate like mine is their sight

So I want you to know that I still love you all

even while I’m engaged in my own free-fall

I’m still falling but see, today I got up

and mixed coke and some vodka into my cup

and said to myself , opened my laptop

to give ya’ll  attention, whatever I got.

I am glad that I did cause I got to smile

and I only do that once in a while.

Omg…badass.

: http://youtu.be/IKs5OsT4dIY

“Talk about growing up fucked up…I grew up with a mentally ill mother, so it’s no wonder I’m slightly askew….Her fanatical religious views had me sitting in pews 8 days a week, and because of that, me and God didn’t speak for a while .  Now I crack a smile when I’m asked my religious preference, I utter a Tech N9ne reference, replying, ‘I’m a KLUSTERFUK’.  I mixed up all the stuff that religion had to offer, boiled it in my cauldron, til the bullshit burned off and then…ALL THAT WAS LEFT WAS LOVE….I can’t say that I always rise above trivial shit in my life, cause I don’t.  Sometimes my ego won’t allow me to walk away, if you know what Im sayin….I’ve done alot drugs, shit, I’ve done a lot of thugs, but in the end, as long as I’m in line WITH LOVE, THEN I KNOW I’M LIVING RIGHTEOUS.” -Lil Debbie