Denial

“I don’t care” has been my mantra for as long as I remember

I repeat it the most in the month of December

and November, October and September, too

You can’t make me cry, I’ll show you

but I’m lying to myself because you do

You make me cry but I can hold it pretty good

“Chin up!  Chest out!”, like a good boy should…

and I was never a boy, I was always a girl

and I think I was as pretty as a little shiny pearl

and I loved everyone so very much

but I felt like the clutch

was draining my life…having to hang tight to a bunch of knives

who cut me…

I got tired and I so desired to not feel it anymore…

but now that I think of it my feeling was dead before

I ever started denying it.

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