A Letter To The Liars Of The World

I made the mistake of getting all proud of this particular blog and letting the people I actually have to deal with know it about, completely forgetting that all of the people I deal with hate me on some level, because I am honest.

Now I am thwarted when I want to write about what’s really going on in my brain and in my life for fear that my words will slice those fuckers (and rightly so) from their chins to their twats causing them to hurriedly turn around as I walk away and hit me in my back with their girl punches composed of slander and calls made to agencies to lie on my behalf in an effort to take what little I have left away from me.

The acid rain that are the words and lies which escape the lips of the treacherous ones have been pelting me like softball size hail for the past few days and you know what?

I AM SICK OF WORRYING ABOUT THEIR FUCKING FEELINGS.  Yah knows they sure don’t give a fuck about mine.

So here we go…..

(Ya’ll know I tend to write only while this world and the people in it are fucking my ass with no lube)

So, this is to you coward ass liars, ENJOY!

Dear Lying Sacks of Shit,

Why do you lie?  I really want to know.  I can understand being young and stupid and not yet undertanding the value of truth because the young have yet to live enough life to know better, from their own experience.

I can say this because I was a liar when I was young and I was actually pretty damn good at it.

I lied when the truth sounded better until I was about 24 years old, and by that time I was shooting dope and had been homeless since I was a teenager.  I didn’t have a pot to piss in, nor a window to pour it out and that got me thinking.  The gang in my head had a meeting, and thankfully that day I was taking notes.  The minutes from the conference read something like this:

“Well, fuck, Sarah”, the chairman of my brain yelled emphatically.  He continued, “You ain’t got shit…how the fuck you think you gonna manage to keep the little backpack of shit you do have and that raggedy ass Honda if you keep lying and stealing.  You know that shit’s gonna come back to you”.

“Yeah”, said the second committee member, “you already have to start the Honda with a fucking screwdriver because of when it was stolen from the dope dealer’s house you robbed.  You should’ve gotten a clue that day, when you had to run your ass like Flo Jo down 35th street and all the way down North Boulevard with an ounce and a half of election time/drought time stolen cocaine cause you didn’t realize you left your car keys inside the dope dealers house before you stole all of his dope he hid in his downstairs shed that he just paid almost $1600 for and had to wait two weeks to get because of the election drought”.

The committee all sighed together, and said, “ehhhhh…DUMBASS”.

The last committee member quickly added, “I can’t even believe you managed to get that fucking Honda back, and even worse, the dude you hustled to get it was so fucking good to you that you really should be ashamed of your nasty, selfish ass.”

Ah, yes, I reminisced a bit….It really was cool to have over an ounce of some of the best powder in the city.  I got it before Fred could even cut the shit.  That dope was so fucking good that I couldn’t even enjoy it.  It literally made me insane.  After I stole it, I gave most of it away, the rest was stolen from me and then I had a hit put out on me and I had to lay low for about a year because Fred wanted me dead.

I digress….

To be a good liar, it is absolutely IMPERATIVE you have an impeccable memory.  I was fortunate enough to be blessed with not only an impeccable memory, but an eidetic memory.  My memories are stored like Netflix in my mind, I just click on the one I want to remember and I get to see the video play in the theatre on the corner of cerebrum and cerebellum.

Well, most of them, anyway. Props to Project Monarch for the shatter.

I used to think everyone remembered the way I do until about three years ago when I happened to converse with my oldest daughter and her best friend.  It was then that her friend told me, “um…no…I just remember in…words?”

I don’t know what that means, but let me make my point.

It seems to me that once childhood, adolescence, and extended adolescence (sociologists have really had to coin that phrase, “extended adolescence”, for the sons and daughters who are making their way into their thirties still living in the same bedroom at their parents’ house, playing video games and choosing not to mature….I’M JEALOUS OF THEM) are coming to a close, one must surely have some basic understanding of the LAWS OF FUCKING GODDAMN PHYSICS.

EVERY FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING ACTION HAS A FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING EQUAL AND FUCKING OPPOSITE MOTHERFUCKING REACTION.

Hey dumbshits, it’s like GRAVITY….you understand gravity, right?  Besides becoming an astronaut, is there any way YOU CAN GET OUT OF FUCKING GRAVITY?

FUCK NO.

Here’s the rest of your science lesson, YOU ARE ENERGY.  YOUR WORDS ARE ENERGY.  YOUR BODY IS ENERGY.  THE CHAIR YOUR SITTING YOUR ASS IN NOW IS ENERGY.  THE FUCKING SCREEN YOU ARE READING MY RANT IS GODDAMN ENERGY….hence, the Laws of Thermodynamics and Motion.

In closing, I guess I am convinced that people enjoy not only lying, but being lied to, in return.

Whatever…to each his own.

Twenty more years of this ignorant humanity bullshit and mark my words like they were marked on March 10, 2011, when I accurately predicted the earthquake in Japan which happened the next day….

WE ARE DESTINED FOR THE ANNIHILATION OF OUR SPECIES IF WE DON’T LEARN A FEW BASIC PRINCIPLES OF LIFE AND THE UNIVERSE.

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