Red Rover

Just my normal fucking chaos, that’s all it really is…Like a Nathan’s fucking hot dog with some mustard and some jizz.  I got a mean ass voice all in my fucking head…telling me go fuck myself, you really should be dead….I’m in the ring and fighting that bitch sounding so much like myself and I’m sick of hearing her voice that bitch is fucking with my health…If only she could do something productive with herself….i HATE THAT BITCH; I FUCKING HATE HER TAKE HER OUT OF ME…I swear to Christ she needs to go cause I can hardly fucking breathe.  I’m almost fucking 40 and there’s been no damn reprieve; this demon spawn has stole my soul just like a fucking thief.

I know God fucking hears me and he’s been listening my whole life…watching and he’s laughing as I struggle being (wife)…a mother, a sister and a fucking goddamn daughter…I don’t know why I claim those titles, is blood really thicker than water? Motherfucker coined that phrase surely didn’t have my father.

The first time I tried suicide I swear I just made one….barely learned how to walk and I ain’t even need a gun.  A swimming pool, deep-end side,  did not hesitate, just happened that my mommy wasn’t loaded like a crate.  She loved to tell the story how I missed my early fate cause she jumped right in behind my ass when she saw I had escaped.

…I just really want this over….GOD PLEASE SCREAM ME RED ROVER.


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