it doesn’t get better

i really do just want to die

I think about my children and those thoughts make me feel bad that I just want to die.

doesn’t really matter….I lost 2 and out of the other 3 I raised all by myself only the oldest really remembers that it was just me and them the whole time til they were out of diapers.

they love me so much

and I love them so much

but i don’t know how much more of this bullshit existence I can take

I have literally prayed for cancer since I was 8

it doesn’t get better

AND FUCK YOU PEOPLE WHO SAY IT DOES.

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