Month: June 2015

THIS PEN I HOLD

badass

random rants ruminations ramblings

What is this pen I hold in my hands
Is it a mere instrument of metal

Or a fine thread that tethers my thoughts to paper
Gives them life ere they disappear

An incandescent ray that expresses my feelings
And illuminates the blank sheet of paper on which it writes

A reservoir of fluid ink and emotion
The fount from which emanate words with the power to move

Perhaps a wordsmith’s wand of wizardry
Which, with a flourish, can cast a spell on the reader

A catalyst that draws forth scintillating inspiration
From the deepest recesses to transcribe, nay craft, into the luminiscence of poetry

And profound insights from the very soul
To imprint them on a page forever

This pen, it is a manifestation of who I am at the moment

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The Enemy

“If he brings you to it he’ll bring you through it but not before years of stewing in it, cause you just kept doing it with no clue of it or how it goes… not many know how their own egos are the womb of all of their woes and it’s ironic to me that those very same woes are only supposed in the mind of God’s toes, laughing at us while he smokes some joes,  we arrive his side of that curtain, closed, and  finally laugh with him and know the blows we felt and thought were real, all them hoes and all them lows were never real because the mirror shows our truest foes and we, ourselves, are the only ones whom we did oppose.”  -yahslily

Bleach 8/15/15

So I realize I am drunk as fuck, and it’s almost four in the morning, but drunk or sober, I don’t agree with the word, ‘coincidence’.  I am not sure whether I disagree with the word on a Universal level, or just on a Webster’s Definition level.

ANYHoo….

I just got home at this late/early hour, depending on your own work schedule/psychiatric diagnosis/drug-of-choice, and decided to do some laundry. Granted, it is indeed very unusual for me to “up and do chores” at four in the fucking morning, but my cat, Dickie Gimp Panther, was hurt this weekend and I had to doctor his neck, so I kept his black ass inside for the night, to keep him from fighting some more, and the motherfucker pissed on a blanket.

Now, I don’t know about you, but to me, CAT PISS IS ONE OF THE MOST HORRIBLE SMELLS GOD EVER CREATED.

I tried to ignore the smell most of yesterday, even though it literally slapped me in the face and made me call it’s name (in a dirty way) every time I walked down my hall or went in my living room.  By like 6:00 PM I was totally fed up, even though I know a person goes nose-blind after fifteen minutes.

So, I get home, and go straight to the laundry room, because I went straight to my bed first and remembered all of my fucking bedclothes were currently located in the aforementioned room.  Luckily there was a fitted sheet in the dryer, so I took those clothes etc. out and and started the washer for a new load.

I HAVE LITERALLY DONE AT LEAST FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING THOUSAND LOADS OF GODDAMN LAUNDRY IN MY LIFE…no shit.  I have five kids and the last four (I really did) raise from birth to age 4,5,and 6, BY MYSELF, and, of course, my handy-dandy washing machine.

Nevertheless, the whole thing of me coming home at that hour and doing laundry was just straight-up weird.

Here’s where it gets weirder…

I started the washer and when I thought I was grabbing the detergent,I realized I actually grabbed the bleach and just poured that bleach all over my sheets and blankets that were already in there, before the water had a chance to cover them. One of the blankets was this really cool leopard print throw from Pier One, that I’ve had for ten years.

OMFG.

So, I grab up the throw and hold it under the still-running water, In a futile attempt to undo the UN-DOABLE.

Fuck it.

Whatever.

I grab for the detergent again, and pour it in.

GODDAMN IT, I FUCKING BLEACHED MY SHIT AGAIN.

I guess…some things just need to be bleached.

Just Go

Nobody cares

they never did

nobody shares

think I’m lying?

Go off the grid

Spend a week or two

then you will find

your friends are few

and lagging behind

they ain’t really slow

they just want you to know

that they..

DON’T

GIVE

A

FUCK

ABOUT

YOU

SO GTFO

just go.

and suck my purple cock in SLOW MO

Jesus In The Christmas Lights PART DUH

It’s always the same.

Nobody gives a fuck.

Again…I think they all want me to die.

It would make everyone’s life so much easier.

I FUCKING HATE BEING SUICIDAL….IT’S SO PUSSY.

But, WAIT, NO….IT’S REALLY NOT….

SUICIDE IS ONE OF THE HARDEST MOTHERFUCKING THINGS A PERSON CAN DO AND I GET SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING PEOPLE SAY IT’S “SELFISH”.

whatever.

If it was so selfish, then maybe you would’ve gave a fuck in the first place.

SUCK MY PURPLE COCK AND BURN MY BODY, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

…and lol, if you won’t burn it….SATAN WILL.