I Wear a coat of depression that doesn’t come off
It breaks me, rapes me, makes me feel like I’m lost
In a world full of people who don’t really care
Except for their clothes, cars, shoes, money and hair
And reality stars
….things that hold zero real worth
The coat tightens….I can feel it’s girth.
One day the coat will choke me about my neck
And then it’ll be over
Man, what the heck?
I hate waking up.
I hate being so miserable.
I hate that I share my misery.
I hate when people enjoy my misery.
I hate when people don’t enjoy my misery.
I hate that love makes me hate.
I hate that I almost never cry but when I do I always feel like I need to stop because it’s making someone uncomfortable.
I hate being the most suicidal person anyone could meet but always having a conscience that restricts me from doing what really needs to be done and gotten out of the way….so everyone can then just carry on….
I hate feeling like the only people who truly love me and want me are 3 small children who have no say over their lives.
I’m waiting for my liver to finally fucking die
I’ll have an excuse, but they’ll still ask why
why did she do it
she couldn’t get through it
i thought that she loved me
but i guess i was wrong
no you weren’t wrong
my heart bled for you
you have no idea what your mother went through
knowing that I’m hurting you
and don’t know what to do
except drink my pain away
and i know you’re gonna say
THAT’S A SHITTY THING TO DO
AND I AGREE WITH YOU
but yeah i did it anyway
and now I’m dead
and i know you got these questions
and answers you are seeking
so this blog is for my babies
when the grave is who is speaking
Love is the cure for every single ail
but it makes me pour vodka into a large pail
then pour it down my throat
I can’t cross the moat
that lies between my prison
and the field of my decisions
I’m trapped inside my tower
and I’m slowly losing power
I used to be a flower
but now I’m just a weed
The feeling of his kiss
is a feeling I will miss
His perfect hands
and perfect touch
I will also miss so very much
So I never want to feel again
never feel again