I feel like crap today. My throat hurts and my glands are swollen and I did not want to get out of bed, but I had to let Rufus out, so get out of bed, I did.
I guess today is one of those days that I will sit here, in my house, in silence…not even caring to turn the tv on just for the background noise.
…just me and my thoughts, alone.
When I am alone in silence, suicidal thoughts start running rampant.
I’ll never again consciously decide to take my own life in a day….but the thoughts are always there.
My baby boy turned 10 at the stroke of midnight, and all I want to do is cry because all of my children are growing up so fast and I only get to watch it part-time.
IF THAT LAST PARAGRAPH MADE YOU FEEL GOOD AND MADE YOU FEEL HAPPY, THEN SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
I hate that I have local people who read my blog only to orgasm in my misery….sick fucks.