I should change the name of this blog to, “Catharsis”, because, so far, that is exactly what it has been. Also, my overwhelmingly successful YouTube channel has been nothing but a pure catharsis. I began my YT channel first, for the same reason, ultimately, that I began this blog. Those reasons are: pure and simple hatred, disgust, vindication, aggravation, salvation, education, and mostly ANGER, IN IT’S PUREST FORM….FUCKING RIGHTEOUS ANGER.
However, since I’m grandiose sometimes (the moon is full tonight) and I consider myself an amateur, self-taught, quantam physicist, I know that the things that are not changing, the static, the stagnant have no choice but to change, because that is the nature of reality as most of us believe it to be. And so it is, that I must begin, yet another change, too, lest I become more stagnant. I am beginning to smell on myself a stench, it’s definitely time.
I truly have started noticing here lately, that the anger has gone. I’m not angry about the people anymore. Not my parents, my in-laws, the big-mouthed, ex-neighbor, ex-wife, the bitch with a dick, but most importantly, not the neighbors. I am actually embarrassed when I ponder how much time I have allowed them to usurp my mind.
Yes, all of those people are still horrible, but that is not my problem. I am here to change me, not them.
So, things are changing again. I am not sure the direction. I know that things will be whatever they will be, because they will. I am sure that no matter how painful this change is, I will end up in a better place, with much more wisdom earned.
Now, though, it is time for me to move and stop thinking of all of those same things that have been a thorn in me for more than a few years. It was all for my good, even the things I perceived as horrible, were all for my good, because I have learned from each experience.
I wish it had not taken me so long to learn the lessons that I needed to learn. I do mourn the fact that I wasted precious time in my quest to evolve. I console myself in the knowledge that time is a truly human concept.
I did it, though, I got the pain out, and yeah, now I got some messes that need to be cleaned. The Universe will handle that efficiently, as it never fails to do. I am sure I got some licks coming. But, like I always say:
“LIFE IS ALWAYS FAIR”.
The anger is gone.
Let me spread love now.
It’s time to do that again, except do it better than before.