I think out of all the repurcussions stemming from my childhood, the one that pisses me off the most is that I buried all of my talents.
I am a very creative person, I always have been. I am both musically and artistically inclined. I knew I was good at music because my parents forced me to be in the band in Jr. high, and I was excellent at it. But because they forced me to do it, I became angry with it and I began to hate it, vehemently.
By the time I reached 8th grade, I had multiple superior awards from Solo and Ensemble festivals. I could play the clarinet like nobody’s business, and I never even practiced, at home.
The summer before 8th grade, I tried out for drum major and I won. I did practice my ass off to win that prize, but once football season hit and I was out on the field, or leading the band in the bleachers, I quit.
I only was drum major for one game. It was just way too much spotlight on me leading the band nerds, when all I really wanted was to be free of that dorky shit and hang out with the cool kids.
I could kick my ass for that now….and I guess I do…and I guess I have, for a long time.
My step-mom finally relented on band when I got to high school, and I was set free. The only reason they let me out of band was because they intended for me to go to LSU and there were several course requirements that had to be met and being in band would take away two credits a year that I could be putting toward Physics and Biology 2.
So…fast forward to High School Graduation…
I graduated with honors and I was, honestly, mind-blown about that. I ended my high-school career with a 3.67 GPA, which was completely due to my diligent studying 9th and 10th grades. By the time I got to the middle of my junior year, I was sneaking out, drinking, smoking weed and not giving a fuck about school. I have no idea how I passed Algebra 2 or Physics my senior year.
But I did.
I was excited to go to college, but I wanted to get as far away from my parent’s house as possible. I got accepted to every state school to which I applied and when I sat down with my dad to discuss where I would be attending he said to me, “Son, you have two choices. You can either go to LSU or you can go to LSU.”
My blood boiled.
He said not only could I only go to LSU, but that I could not live in a dorm room, or anything cool like that, I would be living at Salem’s Lot and commuting.
I can’t lie, though, once I settled in my first semester at LSU, I loved it. The school is huge, I didn’t know ANYONE, there were very friendly squirrels in the Quad, and I really, really enjoyed that one semester.