my list of 100 things i am grateful for

1. Mia
2. CHARLIE
3. samuel
4. lucy
5. bonnie
6. Roy
7. my job
8. a vehicle i am able to drive
9. a roof over my head
10. doing well at my job
11. lloyd still giving my some little type of visitation
12. the hope that stephanie didn’t throw away the only pictures of my mother and my grandmother i rescued from the flood
13. God
14. God should’ve been first, but I’m a human
15. good skin
16. food
17. Rufus, again, I apologize, he shoud’ve been further up on this list
18. my dad ain’t dead yet, he still has time to apologize
19. my aunt nettie and my cousin freddy and my cousin marshall love me, so they say
20. I’m good at my job.
21. Roy making it possible to give my kids awesome gifts for christmas.
22. the thought that lloyd will continue to let me have my weekend visitations.
23. knowing my mom is in heaven loving me
24. knowing my mimi is in heaven loving me
25. God
26. Rufus is still alive and healthy
27. I’m told Anakin is still alive and healthy
28. I have a roof over over my head
29. I’m out of an unhealthy relationship
30. the depression is getting better, slowly but surely
31. I am drinking but drinking less, but not on some days…only on the nights of my next days off
32. I have a vehicle to drive
33. most of my coworkers like me
34. my bosses think i am doing a really great job
35. my youtube channel is now making me money like i knew it would
36. i am a friendly person and get complimented for it
37. i don’t complain…thank you, asshole, lloyd, for teaching me that.
38. i have food
39. I know i’m supposed to be listing 100 things i’m grateful for and I realize i am repeating a few
40. I am beautiful if i want to be
41. i have a nice figure
42. i’m not 57
43. I’m not dead.
44. i have shampoo and soap
45. I am not addicted to drugs anymore and haven’t been since 2002
46. i am working on not being addicted to alcohol anymore
47. people like me, at least they say they do
48. I am able to say no to people now when they’re requests are too much
49. I am doing good at not being so people pleasing
50. I am still a happy, sweet person, without people pleasing
51. I am not angry at my father anymore
52. I am not angry at my step-mother anymore
53. I am not angry at my sister anymore.
54. I am not angry at my brother anymore.78.
55. I am not angry at the rest of my family who doesn’t love me….that is their problem, not mine. I’ve done what I can to reach out to them
56. My children are fed (I hope)
57. I had a Christmas tree this year when I thought I wouldn’t
58. My nightmares aren’t as scary anymore
59. I have my beautiful memories
60. I am A VERY GOOD MOTHER AND I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN
61. I am not suicidal
62. I am starting to feel better about myself after 6 years of depression after losing my children
63. I will get at least my rightful visitation when I go to court this year, the rightful visitation that was unlawfully stolen from me
64. I don’t go around complaining out loud, feeling sorry for myself out loud…no one would even know how depressed i really am
65. I know I will get my children back
66. I know my children love me and they want to be with me
67. i know that when they come back, i will resume my happy normal full time mom life and all this sadness will go away because I will be with them and not having to worry about them 24/7
68. 32 left to go and omg….this is getting hard
69. i don’t need sex
70. It’s THE NEW YEAR
71. every year since 2012 i get to hope for a better year
72. Mia is doing well.
73. Justin said he’s going to rehab
74. i’ve made almost $200 on YT, my shit about to go viral like i always knew it would
75. I beat Denham Springs in Federal Court under Judge James Brady
76. Again, that deserves a another number cause that was badass.
77. My kids are all honor roll students
78. Anything minor, I can go to the store and buy it..
79. I’m pretty much over losing all my shit in the flood.
80. that last sentence was a lie if lloyd doesn’t give me back the only pictures I have of my mother and grandmother.
81. I have Hulu
82. I have a phone
83. I have a laptop (that work sometimes)
84. i can play 8 ball pool whenever i want, except at work
85. my children love me so very much
86. everything is going to be ok
87. I am aware of my issues and completely ok with facing them and dealing with them
88. Jesus
89. Kid Cudi
90. coffee
91. blankets
92. pillows
93. toilet
94. jeans
95. shoes
96. socks
97. my recovered diaries from the flood
98. my recovered home videos from the flood
99. the truth about people coming out during the flood

100…..beer, vodka and nicotine 

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