chuckchilds

My Beautiful Shoulders

I know you didn’t ask…but this is how I feel:

I feel beat down.  I feel like every time I think I have gotten ahead, life grabs me by the neck and yanks me back behind everyone else.  I feel like I am always utterly truthful with everyone I know and the sentiment is rarely returned, especially when it’s wanted and needed the most.  I feel like I know I love you but I don’t know how to proceed at this point because anything going forward from here will be an act of will on my part to be the bigger person.  I feel tired of being the bigger person.  I feel tired of being the smaller person.  I feel tired of being a person.

I feel tired of being thrown under the bus.  I feel tired of always being “do or die” when it seems to me I’m always left for dead. I’m tired of feeling betrayed, hurt, lied to, abused, taken advantage of, and called out of my name.

I am sick to death of being slandered and jumped and having the cops called on me.

I am sick to death of always having to look over my shoulder.  I have good shoulders….I shouldn’t have to always fucking look over them….maybe that’s how I know how beautiful they are.

I feel like saying “FUCK YOU” to the Golden Rule, thermodynamics, Karma, the Law of Sewing and Reaping OR WHATEVER ANYONE WANTS TO CALL IT.

I feel like telling a small list of people that this is exactly how “going postal” happens.

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Consider The Lily

Consider the lily
they do not worry,
there’s no need to
get frilly.
They stand still
in lifes journey.
They stand alone
in YAH’s splendor!
They are at home,
where sunlight and
water are rendored.
They have no need to
spin,
just be still in their
beauty.
Your attention they will
win,
just doing their duty.
Early-morning they open
their dew-kissed faces
towards the sun.
and in the evenings they close
their eyes as they hear
the crickets hum.
So consider the lily as
Torah suggest,
you  might find contentment
peace and rest.
Sister Jaquetta Robinsonhttp:// http://www.yahwehsisterhoodinyahshua.org/poetry/consider_the_lily/

To Anyone Actually Clicking Hyperlinks

I recently I made a mistake and linked the wrong youtube account to an earlier post I made, named  YouTube (I have a ton of google accounts).  I do have A million and 22 something views on that particular channel, almost two mil on the other one and here is the right link:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCQWESFoX-RBcJKGmsYpHQQ

I have no idea how I have gotten so many views except to believe there is a God…I don’t necessarily subscribe to the American Christian version of Him, but I do believe there is SOMETHING GREATER…I fucking have to believe that or else I would have suicided myself long ago.

Happy Birthday, UNCLE CHUCK!!!!

April FINNEY-NINTH!!!!  MY MIMI SAYS TO TELL YOU “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” AND SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND SHE’S SO SORRY!!!!!!

I KNOW my UNCLE CHUCK aka CHARLES MICHAEL CHILDS aka CHUCK CHILDS will read this one day.

I KNOW HE WILL.

I WANT HIM TO KNOW HOW MUCH HIS MOTHER LOVED HIM AND NEVER, NOT ONE DAY, DID NOT THINK ABOUT HIM.

She wrote you a letter EVERY YEAR on your birthday.  She would also write you letters just for the heck of it.  I have a couple of them.

She made me promise her, pre-mortem, that I would find you and tell you how much she always loved you.

I loved your mother more than anyone on this whole, entire planet…..she loved me more than anyone, too, except you, and both your brothers told me that at her funeral.

By the way, I am your niece, Sarah, I have been compared to you many times in my lifetime and it will be a pleasure to finally meet the one other sane person on my paternal side of our fucked-up ass family.