inspiration

Change is hard sometimes, most of the time, actually.

After four years I changed the background, the fonts, the size of the fonts, the arrangement of the pages of this blog and….eh…idk.

I’m probably gonna change it back.

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Billy McMannot

Billy McMannot can be such a piss.

His stubbornness is fluent, he rarely does miss.

I thought  we just met but it seems not the case.

Turns out Billy and I have been sharing same space.

Gotta give it to the lad, it took me six years to realize how glad

I would become at a boy who made me so mad the whole while just impersonating a man.

 

It is 3:48 a.m. on a weekend morning.  I’m not sure if it’s Sunday or Monday but it doesn’t really matter because every day is Sunday or MOnday to me.

For the past couple of months I have been in a stupendous depression.  I am not really sure what caused it but I suppose about two or three variables that could be involved.

Me and him have not spoken all week.  I’m sure to hear it told to one of his buddies out of his own mouth it would sound like chinese to me.  None of it would be intelligible, that is  unless I spoke Mandarin or Cantonese….and you never know, one of those is on my bucket list.

I had my first sip of drink in over a week earlier this evening.  I say “this evening” but I think the sip which was granted to me as a full-fledged DRINK was poured after midnight.

I ain’t drunk.

I ain’t buzzed.

Nothing.

it’s 4:10 a.m. now.

I am not mad about being ignored.  I never was.  I did nothing to be ignored.  The only thing I did was ask my partner of 6 years some questions about some weird shit on his bank statement and he made it into a whole thing so he could ignore me, I suppose.

I turned 42 this past Monday.  I have had a pretty strong feeling for several years that life is going to change at 42.  My birthday is 4-2.  If you google forty-two, here’s what you find:  PURE BADDASSERY You’ll also find THIS.

I’ve been so depressed since Christmas I haven’t cared much for hygiene, but on my birthday, since I was being ignored anyway, I took the first selfies I’ve taken in a hundred years.

Wanna see?  I’m gonna show you anyway because clearly I’m sober.

 

Great Quotes

I am really running across some great quotes, tonight, and I want to bookmark them all for easy reference, hence:

“Search not for happiness outside yourself, for nothing could be further from the truth.” 
― Eric Micha’el Leventhal

“The more I speak the more I make mistakes so. I speak less and listen more” 
― Nicolas Kalinde

“I know nothing of writing books properly. I write in the same manner I live life: one feeling at a time. If this makes me a bad writer, then I might hope to author several bad books.” 
― Cara Rosalie OlsenAwakening Foster Kelly

“You’ve been trying all your life, and you feel like nothing works. I know it hurts, but stop crying before it get better its gon’ get worse…” 
― Omar Hickman

“[What Rushdie took away from reading Gunter Grass’s The Tin Drum]: Go for broke. Always try and do too much. Dispense with safety nets. Take a deep breath before you begin talking. Aim for the stars. Keep grinning. Be ruthless. Argue with the world. And never forget that writing is as close as we get to keeping a hold on the thousand and one things–childhood, certainties, cities, doubts, dreams, instants, phrases, parents, loves–that go on slipping like sand, through our fingers.” 
― Salman Rushdie

“Persistence and passion will make you invincible.” 
― Christian Baloga

“Don’t fear the enemy that attack you but the fake friend that hugs you” 
― Obameso Sunkanmi

“When you wish to stand, stand tall or don’t stand at all.” 
― Constance Chuks Friday

“I discovered another analogy in the legacy of Prophet Muhammad that immediately clicked with me: that the angels put down their wings in humility for a person who seeks knowledge, and that all living things, even the ants in their anthill and the fish in the sea, pray for a person who teaches people good things.
When I read this, I literally felt the goodness flow out of my heart for all creatures. The beautiful mental image it evoked resonated with my concept of the universe as one unit, and of all living things seeking to live together in peace and harmony, and being grateful when humans tried to fit into the circle of life, instead of working so hard to disrupt its equilibrium” 
― Sahar El-NadiSandcastles & Snowmen